Kimber's Five

Is it possible to be a feminist stay-at-home parent {specifically: a stay-at-home mom}? I find myself repeatedly defending my position, even to fellow feminists. One of the big points the feminists make to me is: how can I fight the patriarchy if I am submitting to the patriarchy? For me to answer that, I suppose we need to decide what our bar as a feminist is. Is a feminist someone who plays by the Boys' Rules or is a feminist someone who is fighting for gender equality? My position is someone who is fighting for gender equality and, thus, I do not feel that I am submitting to the patriarchy simply by choosing to be a stay-at-home spouse, a much-needed position in my home. To which I hear... well, is that a much needed position in your home because that is what you have been conditioned to believe? No. No, because I would say 9/10 the people questioning me do not have children. Do not move every 1-3 years. Do not have a spouse in a career path where they are rarely home an...

One problem us moms have is running on empty. It happens to all of us. It's really hard to put into words when this happens and it isn't always clear why it happens. But it does happen. It comes around and when we hit empty, we can get stuck there for an hour, an afternoon, a couple days, a week, a month, a season... And just as mysteriously as it came upon us, it ebbs and flows away until it slowly dawns on us that it isn't so hard anymore. What does it mean to be running on empty? When I find myself running on empty, it feels like the little tasks become much harder. I find myself easily frustrated with the kids. The same routines day in and day out start feeling like heavy weights on my shoulders and I feel trapped by the monotony and the needs and the drudgery. It feels like, the baby gets sick, I get her down to nap, the toddler wakes her up, my older 3 boys start fighting, there is a stinky diaper to change, it is time to start dinner, it is time to clean the kitc...