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Popular posts from this blog

Isolation and memories

There is one aspect of military spouse life that I do not think that I can ever get used to: isolation. I feel like I make my own memories. That sounds like such a small thing, but as our family has grown and we have moved time after time, I've realized I really hate it. What do I mean make my own memories? Well, my husband is rarely home or with me. Sea duty doesn't mean he's working a 9-5 job when he isn't deployed. Even when he is "home" or "in port" he has schools he has to attend, training to go to, a boat to work on, on and on. He often leaves before the kids and I get up and gets home after they are in bed (sometimes after I am in bed). For awhile, he had literally 2 days off a month and they weren't even on the same weekend. So I'm not making memories with my husband, living day to day life with him. Sharing time with him and sharing the kids with him. I'm usually informing him of our day and showing him pictures and videos. T...
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Personal growth while pursuing my goals

I finished my first semester back in college taking a full load of classes-- five classes, actually. Last spring, I was nervous signing up for that class load. We were getting ready to make a cross country move. My husband was deployed. We were in the process of building our house at our new duty station. It felt like it would end being a lot of work transitioning our children and settling into our new home. I wasn't sure how that would workload would translate onto my schedule. Would I be able to support all of the needs of my family as well as support a full load in college? As a sort of compromise, I signed up for online classes. While I knew we would want childcare for our two toddlers, we would be able to take a flexible approach to how that childcare would look. We were able to find a less expensive preschool for them, giving our four-year old four full days at preschool and our two-year old two half days at preschool. Any extra hours I needed for our two-year old could ...
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Can you be a feminist stay-at-home parent?

Is it possible to be a feminist stay-at-home parent {specifically: a stay-at-home mom}? I find myself repeatedly defending my position, even to fellow feminists. One of the big points the feminists make to me is: how can I fight the patriarchy if I am submitting to the patriarchy? For me to answer that, I suppose we need to decide what our bar as a feminist is. Is a feminist someone who plays by the Boys' Rules or is a feminist someone who is fighting for gender equality? My position is someone who is fighting for gender equality and, thus, I do not feel that I am submitting to the patriarchy simply by choosing to be a stay-at-home spouse, a much-needed position in my home. To which I hear... well, is that a much needed position in your home because that is what you have been conditioned to believe? No. No, because I would say 9/10 the people questioning me do not have children. Do not move every 1-3 years. Do not have a spouse in a career path where they are rarely home an...
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